The Chirp Heard Round the World

The walls have ears

Way back in 2016, US diplomats were rushed home from Cuba after being attacked by some strange kind of sonic bomb. In retaliation, the US government got all huffy and sent the Cuban diplomats home.

Not much later, I found it strange that US/Cuban relations suddenly improved and the sanctions against the island nation were lifted. Everyone danced in the streets of Havana, but no one, to my knowledge, had solved the mystery of the alleged sonic bombs that had caused dozens of embassy staffers to fall ill with everything from vertigo to “cognitive difficulties” to hearing loss. Until now.

Mindy Weisberger, a senior reporter with “Live Science,” revealed the probable cause of the diabolical decibels–crickets! Namely, the Indies short-tailed cricket, the lonesome males of which apparently decided to take up residence at the fancy Havana Hotel. These poor buggers sang their hearts out, (actually, sang their legs off), in search of likewise lonesome females, which were rumored to hang out in the establishment’s friendly barroom.

I imagine that those who threw the Cuban diplomatic corps out of the US were so embarrassed at this revelation that they eased up on the sanctions against the chirpy Caribbean country in exchange for keeping the secret of the sonic bomb’s weaponry under wraps.

In related news, France’s cute little water bug, which they call the “boatman,” is the loudest animal for its size on Earth–and it’s only strumming its genitals! I hope that the Embassy workers have been warned about this impending peril.

The bug responsible for sending diplomats scurrying for cover was finally pinned down.

Author: Sandy Pants

This is where I invite, (beg), my readers to download my eBooks, "Revenge For The Dogs," and "Green Stuff," available from Amazon. Guaranteed to make you laugh, or your money back.

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