Robots Want to Know More About You, And So Do I

The Eyes Have It

This may be a picture of a beautiful child, or a future psychopath. You be the judge.

In an effort to improve human/machine interactions, researchers at the University of Southern Australia are trying to help robots identify an individual’s personality type. Therefore, they’ve been recording peoples’ eye movements whilst doing everyday tasks, then administered a test to determine each person’s dominant personality trait.

It may be news to you that we fall into only 5 major categories of personality. According to the popular NEO Five-Factor Inventory, (the test they used), people display: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism to different extents. Whichever trait one scores highest in is one’s “personality type.”

To no avail, I tried to get pictures of eyes which demonstrate each personality type. This may be a closely guarded secret, I don’t know. There are plenty of eye pictures, but the personality trait they exhibit is left up to the viewer.

Then I had a brainstorm. It would be more helpful if we had robots which at least identified evil people so we could keep an eye on them! So, I went to gather a photo of the first evil man who came to mind, Rasputin the Mad Monk. I found many photos of the stern-faced killer, most of which would have cost me $30-$100 to show my readers. Are they worth it? Not hardly.

So, you will have to take my word for it that Rasputin’s eyes were asymmetrical, the left one being larger. Next, I looked at photos of John Wayne Gacy, the infamous killer clown. Low and behold, his eyes didn’t match, either. His left eye drooped! It could be that each man went around with one eyebrow down, and the other up–a perfectly diabolical look, or they were just mugging for the camera.

My point is, until further study, we would do well to avoid those who have something wrong with their left eyes.

(My apologies to all those nice people with weird orbs on the left side of their smiling faces, but you better be on your best behavior. I’m watching you. And, my left eye is larger because I squint…)


Author: Sandy Pants

This is where I invite, (beg), my readers to download my eBooks, "Revenge For The Dogs," and "Green Stuff," available from Amazon. Guaranteed to make you laugh, or your money back.

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